Nobody in their right mind climbs for 24 hours straight. When Melanie told me that she and her best friend Joanna were going to register for 24 Hours of Horseshoe Hell, I thought – have fun! But the more I thought about it, the more I wondered what it would feel like to push at the boundaries of physical activity (and consciousness), soI recruited a buddy and the four of us entered the lottery.
Cover photo: Group picture at the start of the comp! (Left to Right) “Guac On!”, “Ware’s the Wang,” “Partners in Climb”
The 24HHH lottery is notorious for being tough. Some people attempt to register for several years without getting a spot. As fate would have it (and to the dismay of some small part of my mind), all four of us made it in. There was no going back, we were going to Arkansas to see how much climbing we could do in 24 hours!
We’re going to Horseshoe Hell!
After picking Joanna up in Dallas, the four of us packed into a spacious VW Golf and off we went to the Ozarks. We arrived at night to the ranch, so we set up camp in a meadow, had a couple beers while star gazing, and dreamed of climbing.
I woke up to the sound of a crowd cheering, followed by climbers running across the meadow, quickdraws jingling on their harnesses as they made a beeline to the cliffs. It was 7AM and the 12 hour competition had just begun.
We spent the day exploring the ranch, watching these slightly less crazy teams run up and down the walls. While it was slightly concerning that after 6 or so hours many of them were “exhausted,” we enjoyed our day exploring the ranch and scoping out the walls. We also met the ranch goats, who were roaming around eating the poison Ivy.
Comp day (Hell Day)
After some morning coffee and strategy talk in the morning, here we were, wearing our team costumes, yelling out the climber’s creed at the top of our lungs. WE ARE THE CLIPPERS OF BOLTS. WE ARE THE STOKERS OF STOKE. A shotgun signals the start of our 24 hour extravaganza.
We managed to chase the shade most of the day as we arced South to north on the West side the canyon. The climbs had names like “Perfect hair forever,” “The giant poison ivy monster from the planet scratch my butt,” and “Action Hotdog.” You’ve got to love the creative names. The daytime energy got us off to a great start. Being around hundreds of climbers who are all jazzed up about mindlessly sending is contagious, and almost makes you forget about the heat or the poison ivy everywhere. There were some really supportive volunteers and spectators as well, handing out electrolyte drink mixes and greeting us with smiles. When the sun started setting, I flicked my headlamp on halfway up the “Crimp Scampi” wall in high spirits.
Amazingly, when the sun goes down, the cicadas start up almost immediately. All at once. A wall of nighttime sounds came blasting out of every tree signaling 11 hours of night climbing ahead. Despite the occasional moth attack on the headlamps, climbing during the night was quite a pleasant experience. The temperature was perfect, the energy was still high, the climbs were still fun, and we continued to crush. 2AM was a bit of a low point as our bodies transitioned from “oh we’re just staying up late tonight” mode to “oh god you’re actually not planning on sleeping.” But we chugged some coffee, took care of some business in the woods, and kept on climbing!
Boy was I relieved when the sun came up. This was my favorite moment. I was climbing “Emma’s got a mullet” – a pretty cool dry waterfall – and someone played “Here comes the sun” on their bluetooth speaker. I flicked my headlamp off – just 3 more hours to go! We both hit our 100 climb goal around 9AM, did some victory laps, and headed back to the pavilion to check in. We threw back some cold(ish) victory beers, bought some ice, took a shower and passed out in our hammocks. After the scheduled nap time there was a brief award ceremony with a slippin’ slide, a spaghetti dinner, and of course a rager of a party. Feeling victorious, we drank with our new friends and danced into the night…
Things I didn’t know about Arkansas:
- There are excellent sandstone cliffs there
- It’s hot as hell
- It’s humid as hell (100% humidity baby)
- Bugs everywhere
- Poison ivy everywhere
- Everyone is super nice
- These folks know how to party
If any of you crazies out there want in on the fun next year, check in to https://www.twofourhell.com/register/ in April!
Climb on!
